Coffee
by illseeyouthrough
Summary: A Valentine's Day set up that goes terribly...right? Outlaw Queen AU.


**Coffee**

 **A/N:** _This is super late! And I'm super apologetic but life just gets in the way sometimes. I hope this story counts as my present and apology! This is for Evil_Outlaw on Twitter! Sorry again, Happy Super Belated Valentine's Day!_

 _Yes, the first part of the story is greatly inspired by a favourite Smallville episode of mine…the rest just came out of nowhere! I hope you enjoy! (Sorry again.)_

* * *

"Well, I can never say no to a good cup of joe," Regina said, turning briefly to her best friend before pulling open the door to Granny's diner.

"And that's why I invited to you out, Gina," David replied, a sheepish smile on his face that Regina missed as she ushered them both inside the establishment.

"Nothing beats Granny's coffee, that's for…," Regina paused, as she stared out in front of her. "What the hell is this? David! How could you?"

Granny's was decorated from floor to ceiling in red. Little cherubs with arrows hung from the ceiling with papier-mâché hearts on every table and counter – not to mention the numerous number of overly in-love couples making doe eyes at each other.

David held up both hands, and calmly replied, "I swear I didn't know. I mean, it's Granny, for goodness sake. Since when does she do Valentine's day?"

Regina rolled her eyes, casting a final look of disgust at the love-infested hell hole, before turning on her heels – but David grabs her quickly by the shoulder, "Uh no…you can't stay holed up in your mansion forever. Let's go!"

"I don't want to be here," Regina protested as David ushered them further inside.

It would seem the love fest continued on past the diner and into the foyer of the connecting Bed & Breakfast behind. Different vendors were set up in the lobby of the inn – which was decorated much the same way as the diner: red, red, and red.

"How wrong is it that I want all these little Cupids to burst into flames?" Regina asked, turning to glare at David, who stopped them right in the middle of the festivities. "You use to hate Valentine's Day…how did you use to describe this holiday? Oh right…our annual sneak peek into hell!"

"I never said that," David said, shaking his head.

"Let's just say you've changed your tune since Cupid struck," Regina supplied with a blank expression on her face.

David's immediate smile at the mere mention of his beloved almost had Regina rolling her eyes – but the look of utter endearment on her friend's face was just too pure. So, instead, she sighs; continuing to pout as she looked around.

"Look, Gina," David started, staring at her earnestly, "I know it's hard. And yes, you need to get give this Daniel thing a little bit more time. But it's not the end of the world. You need to saddle up and get back on that horse…"

Regina glares at him, hands on her hips – of all the analogies!

David laughs nervously, "Alright. That might not have been the best example – seeing as how Daniel was such a horse-enthusiast...

"And aspiring equestrian," Regina supplied under her breath.

...whatever," David continued. "You get what I mean! This will be good for you. I think you might need this."

Regina sighs, giving in and finally nodding her head slowly. She rolls her eyes but smiles at the efforts of her best friend. "Fine," she relents, offering her arm to David, "shall we?"

He smiles, "I mean, you never know when the next love of your life is right around the corner."

"Or yours," Regina supplies, pointing behind him where Mary Margaret, David's beloved girlfriend, is rounding said corner – followed closely by David's cousin, Robin.

…

"Oh, good gracious," Robin cried out as he stepped inside what used to be Granny's diner, the look of horror evident on his face as he stared at the overly lovey-dovey decorations floating about.

"It's not that bad," she replied quickly, offering him a sweet smile. "I mean, I know it seems terrible right now…with your ex-girlfriend agreeing to marry your proclaimed mortal enemy…but…"

Robin grimaces, "And here I thought Cupid's arrows were supposed to feel all warm and tingly."

"Let's start over," Mary Margaret interjects. "I mean, Valentine's Day is a lot like finding out how babies are born."

Robin squints his eyes at his friend, before finally stammering a very confused, "What?"

"Stay with me," she replies, weaving through the crowd of lip-fused couples with an expertise Robin did not quite expect, "I mean at first, it's all weird and confusing. But when that bomb finally hits, it's like everything clicks into place." She gives him a final look as they round the corner and her eyes settled on her boyfriend.

"And just like that, everything just seems to make sense," she finishes with a snap of her fingers, a loving look on her face as she stared at David.

…

"Mary Margaret," David calls out with a bright smile; as he steps out to grab her once she was close, placing a tender kiss on her lips. The two part and David finally notices his cousin standing right behind, "And Robin…hey!"

"Welcome to the Love Fest," Regina greets them in a deadpan tone.

"And me without my arrows," Robin replied, matching her expression with a sour one of his own.

"I think that's Cupid's job," Regina replied.

"Fat baby is using it for all the wrong reasons," Robin states; earning a chuckle from Regina.

David stared between the two then at his girlfriend, his eyes confused, so he grabs Mary Margaret's arm as he says, "Excuse us for just one second…"

The duo shrugged, moving to stand awkwardly side by side as they stared at the giant hanging Cupid by the inn's staircase. With Regina's earlier comment about setting the cherub on fire and Robin's quip about his arrows, David's not quite sure what's going to happen.

As they got out of earshot, David quickly questioned his girlfriend, "Why did you bring Robin? I thought we were going to take Regina out tonight."

Mary Margaret nodded. "I know, but then Robin was all alone. So, I thought…," she replied, now looking at the two with a wistful smile on her face, "Regina and Robin."

David couldn't quite keep the shocked look off his face, "Regina and Robin?!"

"Yeah," she replied with a big smile on her face. "You have to admit, those two have chemistry!"

"So do nitroglycerine and peroxide, sweetie," David supplies matter-of-factly, "but I don't suggest putting them together."

Mary Margaret shakes her head, "I think they'd be kind of cute…"

"Oh, honey," David said as he takes her arm to move them to the opposite direction of the very obvious (soon-to-be) train wreck, "let's just go."

…

Regina, still standing beside Robin, sees David usher Mary Margaret away from the corner of her eye.

She sighs, breaking the awkward silence between them.

Robin looks at Regina briefly, before turning to see his cousin and his girlfriend were nowhere to be found. He matches her sigh with one of his own before he says, "Please tell me we weren't just set up."

"Looks like it," Regina states with derision. "I mean, us. Us? That's like…hot fudge and halibut. Lush carpet and the forest floor. A rose and a pinecone."

Robin smirks, shaking his head a little, not bothering to mask the disdain in his own voice, "I take it I'm the halibut, forest floor and a pinecone."

"Naturally," Regina replies, staring at him with a tight-lipped smile.

"Okay," Robin says, "I think I've had enough of fat babies with arrows." He gives her a curt nod, "Knock yourself out, Mills!"

"Don't trip on you way out, Locksley," she replies, also itching to leave this place. She finally looks away from him, muttering under breath, "I mean, out of everybody in this whole bloody town…"

"Why did it have to be me?" Robin finished for her.

She very nearly jumped at is voice, "I thought you were leaving?"

"And here I thought you weren't quite done insulting me."

"So, you're staying to get insulted?"

"I'm staying to defend myself," he replies haughtily, "As if you can actually do any better."

She raises an eyebrow at him, hands on her hips; the look on her face defiant and challenging.

"Especially in this town," he continued. "I mean, who are your options?"

"I have plenty, thank you very much," she replies.

"Oh, like who? The Pint brothers? You know what…you're right. I think you and Leroy would make a fantastic couple or if you wanted someone with a little more life experience, maybe you'd go for Doc."

Regina grimaced. "Very funny, Locksley. But I don't see how you can do any better either. You have like two…maybe three options, tops. Subpar options, though, if I may add."

"There's plenty of women out there for me," Robin replies.

"Like who?"

"Well…there's…there's…Ruby," Robin grins proudly, looking at the granddaughter of the diner's owner. She was working behind the counter, her usual attire actually matching with this holiday's theme.

Regina scoffs, "As if you have a chance with that, Locksley. Guess again!"

"Let's get back to you, shall we? How do you like a man with a hat, Mills?"

She narrows her eyes at him. "Jefferson may be different, yes. But…but he has qualities that…that...," she trails off, growling underneath her breath at her inability to think of something (anything, at this point) to say.

Robin grins at her suggestively, "Do you think he wears the top hat _all_ the time?"

She smacks him across the chest, "Grow up, Locksley!"

"You're just mad that I'm right," he states.

"Excuse you," she retorts, "I think we're both right. I don't see you naming a better candidate."

"Belle."

Regina laughs (like really laughs – one that was starting to draw attention to them, so Robin urges her towards the staircase, sitting them both down on a step) – as Regina continued on, wiping at tear that escaped her eyes.

"I don't see what's funny, Mills," Robin states plainly.

She looks at him, a hand still covering her mouth to prevent her from laughing again; it still took her a full minute before she finally replies, "Really? Belle? That bookish nerd is your first choice?"

"Belle happens to be a very nice person," Robin says defiantly. "She's understanding and calm…"

"And boring!" Regina exclaims, looking at him as if he had three heads.

"You need someone who will challenge you! Someone whose fast-paced, but you don't mind because there's no one else you'd want to run after. Someone who can be frustrating but you find endearing anyway…whose little imperfections is perfect for you. You know? Someone who…who won't swoon the first time you flash those damn dimples!" (A pause) Someone who's with you **for you**."

Robin stared at her as she finished her tirade, his surprise mirrored on her face – which was a mixture of disbelief and mild embarrassment; but he was at a loss, his words barely coherent as he stammers, "And, uh…where…I mean, where can I actually find someone like that?"

"I can't do all the work for you!"

She rolls her eyes; thankfully Regina always had an impressive recovery time (which she'd like to chalk up to a lifetime of foot-in-the-mouth disease); as she adds, "All I can say it that it's certainly not Belle, Locksley. Don't make it a habit to keep going for the girl-next-door type; it clearly is not working out for you."

He huffs. "Low blow, Mills. You really know how tear a guy's heart out."

She sighs, opening her mouth to answer, but Robin continues (looking her in the eye), "It's not like the boy-next-door or should I say, 'next-barn' really worked out for you any better."

"Wow, the thief's got bite," she says through clenched teeth. "Please, spare me the wide-eyed innocence. It's a small town. People talk."

"Those people deserved that money. Gold is…"

She nods, "Gold is a slimy snake who shouldn't be trusted. You did the right thing. Only problem is you broke the law…and you got caught."

"Did my time, cost me everything… _everyone_ …I had," he says sadly, "but I don't regret it, you know?"

"An honourable thief…I'll be damned," she responds quietly, "And for the record, I don't think Marian should've given up on you."

"She had her reasons."

"Still defending her, huh?" she shakes her head a little. "Any insight for why she chose to marry Keith?"

He shakes his head.

"I guess that will remain a mystery for now, this is Storybrooke after all. I'm just glad he's no longer an option in my choices of bachelors with questionable eligibility."

Robin laughs, but his voice takes a serious turn as he continued: "I am sorry about Daniel."

"That makes two of us."

"Didn't think he'd be such a tool."

She chuckles sadly, "I'm the tool."

He raises an eyebrow at her, "How so?"

"Well, I was the one who told him to go. Follow his dreams and…make them a reality. He never wanted be tied down to this town," she tried to explain.

"Neither did you. I mean, all throughout our childhood, all you ever talked about was leaving this place behind."

"And I did that, you know I tried to make it work," she said so quietly that Robin had lean in closer, "but there was just this…this pull…to come home."

She paused, sighing before continuing, "And so I left, told Daniel to stay, rejected his idea of a long distance relationship, and came back here…to Storybrooke, town of limited male options."

Regina gives him a smile now, sad but defiant, challenging him to a perfect response. Robin chuckles, and looks her dead in the eye, "Still think he's a tool."

"I told him to stay," she repeats, as if she wasn't clear before.

"He shouldn't have given up on you," he states plainly, throwing her words back at her – as she swallows the lump in her throat, eyes wide at the sincerity in his voice. A sincerity that struck him surprised, too, as he hastily corrects himself: "You…your guys' relationship."

"Right," Regina huffs, crossing her arms at her chest and turning away from him.

"I mean. What I mean to say is that if I were Daniel, and I had you…your relationship – with him – I would've followed you…I mean, wherever the relationship would go. How often is he going to find some…something like your relationship? Maybe you were right in telling him to stay.

You need someone who would stand up to you, but more importantly someone who will also stand **with you** through everything that life throws your way. Someone who's dependable but can still keep you on your toes – someone who can surprise you. He should also be funny, you need someone who can make you smile that elusive smile that's actually looks quite nice on you. (A pause). Just a simple guy…"

"Simple, huh?" she whispers softly, his little tirade had caused her to turn and face him again. "And who might that be?"

"Well, I can tell you who it's not," he supplies. "Dr. Whale."

"I'd rather date Dr. Frankenstein…that man has issues."

"Dr. Hopper?"

"That man knows everybody's issues."

"August?"

Regina rolls her eyes at him. "Men with mommy issues are a standard. But daddy issues…that's just too weird."

Robin laughs, "Fair enough." He shakes his head, "Okay, your turn. I need to think."

"Fine," she agrees. "Oh…what about, Ms. DeVil?"

"Cruella," he states flatly, shaking his head.

"Ursula?" she supplies.

"Please give me someone whose very name doesn't make me shudder with fear," he says, "And before you say it, I know what Mal is short for."

Regina laughs, "Well…what do you want me to say?"

"Admit defeat."

"I'm sorry, what?"

"Well, I was right, wasn't I?"

"So was I."

"I was right first."

Regina shakes her head, repeating more slowly and with more emphasis: "I'm sorry…what?"

He sighs, "I see that you're confused, shall I clarify then?" So, he takes her hands in his and says, "I'm talking about the whole point of this conversation. _That I was right in saying that there is no better man for you than me_."

Both of them stop, his words sinking in – the gravity of it weighing them down both completely, as time seems to stand still around them.

Regina opens her mouth a couple of times, but no words come out. Normally words were so easy for her – too easy, really. What the hell?

Robin, meanwhile, was just as baffled beyond belief; both by his words and Regina's surprising speechlessness.

Their hands, however, were still entwined.

She blinks then, a couple of times, and finally whispers, "Hence my confusion…because technically I was also right. _There is also no better woman for you than me._ "

Robin swallows, nodding his head tentatively.

"So," she continued, her voice still barely above a whisper, "ipso facto…I think we have…a…a truce."

"Right," Robin nods along. "Okay."

"That's it?" Regina asked, finally removing her hands from his ( _wow, he had warm hands – not to mention big – a bit calloused but…manly_ ). "Okay?"

"What do you want me to say?" Robin asked, rubbing his hands together furiously ( _why, oh why did her hands feel like silk, what kind of moisturizers did this woman use_ ), trying to forget how hers seemed to fit perfectly in his.

"That we belong together?" He questions frantically, his voice going an octave higher than normal. And try as he did, the next words just tumbled out of him, "That were soulmates?"

( _Dear God, he hoped his voice didn't quite sound as desperate as he felt._ )

"Don't flatter yourself, I certainly didn't ask for this," Regina replies hurriedly, her tone harsher than she'd intended; but she was a bit taken aback – yet, strangely, also warmed – by his words. But at seeing him practically deflate at her words, she took a deep breath. "I just…," she started, her voice soft and calm.

He gives her an understanding look, "I know."

She sighs, shaking her head a bit as she muttered: "David lured me here under the false pretense of coffee. I just wanted coffee."

"I could use a cup of coffee."

"You want to go get a cup coffee?"

"Are you asking me out?"

"Well," she smiled, "apparently I'm out of options."

He chuckled, "Then I'd have to say yes…it's not like I can do any better."

"This is the last resort," she reiterates, taking his offered hand to help her up. (And smiling as he laces their fingers together).

"No one else in the world for me, Mills."

"You better believe it, Locksley."

 _FIN._


End file.
